Monday, April 2, 2012

Keeping Up

Life has been so...well, I can't find any word to describe my life ever since I entered college. I surely enjoy my life and all the activities, but I have one problem. Big problem; I can't keep up with 'some' things. College life pushed me to do everything base on my own will, without any force from second or third party and definitely without any 'watch dog' A.K.A teacher like in high school. The problem is...my level of laziness has increased sky high. Well, okay, my own mistake then -___-
But the worst problem is the social one; I barely keep up with my old friends. I earlier mentioned nine of my closest friends and I missed a lot of chances to hang out with them. Not that I don't want and this has nothing to do with my increasing laziness. It just simply that the chances always appeared either in a wrong time or in a wrong condition. Almost every time the chances appeared...boom, I was ill or I have to go to Dojo to deal with my Kohai. Oh, well, okay, ever since I passed the Aikido exam last December I've become one of the Senpai at UI Dojo and unfortunately also a secretary. It means that I have responsibility toward the Dojo and the Kohai which increased every month...And since my senior A.K.A previous Senpai are rather lazy and irresponsible toward the task...well, I feel like I have to at least do my job as good as I can. Yeah, I know I can just walk out, pretend like I don't care but I do care.
And now I have a dilemma between my old friends and my responsibility. Hell, you can say that I'm overrated this problem but I love Aikido. And no, it is not because of my boyfriend (who happen to be one of my Senpai. And I really hate it when people said that I go practice because of him. Urgh, talk to my hand!). Nope, I love Aikido even before I date him.
And I love my friends too....
By I should admit that I'm not good at keeping up with distance people....
Seriously, if I could do something to prove that I'm sorry about my stupid absent on every occasion then I'll do it. The problem is (Duh, why I keep adding up problems?) I'm not good at that kind of thing. I'm not good at initiative thingy, or apologize thingy. This is the only way that crossed my mind. I'm not even sure that any of them would read this but seriously, I'm so sorry...

I'M SO SORRY

There, I mean it. With all my heart. 
Please, please, please, for Aza, Ariani, Debby, Endah, Bulan, Kenna, Fanny and Sarri, I'm so sorry :( Yeah, this post is shit, I know, this post won't cut it but well, I really don't know what else to do. I think I need more time to divide my time between college, friends, practice and such. I really am sorry.

1 comment:

  1. this post has been here for 2 years but I just read it. well.. idk what to say hehe, all i know is that you've been a friend of mine and always be a friend of mine. :) *there I talk way too cheesy hahaahaha :p

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