Keeping Up

Life has been so...well, I can't find any word to describe my life ever since I entered college. I surely enjoy my life and all the activities, but I have one problem. Big problem; I can't keep up with 'some' things. College life pushed me to do everything base on my own will, without any force from second or third party and definitely without any 'watch dog' A.K.A teacher like in high school. The problem is...my level of laziness has increased sky high. Well, okay, my own mistake then -___-
But the worst problem is the social one; I barely keep up with my old friends. I earlier mentioned nine of my closest friends and I missed a lot of chances to hang out with them. Not that I don't want and this has nothing to do with my increasing laziness. It just simply that the chances always appeared either in a wrong time or in a wrong condition. Almost every time the chances appeared...boom, I was ill or I have to go to Dojo to deal with my Kohai. Oh, well, okay, ever since I passed the Aikido exam last December I've become one of the Senpai at UI Dojo and unfortunately also a secretary. It means that I have responsibility toward the Dojo and the Kohai which increased every month...And since my senior A.K.A previous Senpai are rather lazy and irresponsible toward the task...well, I feel like I have to at least do my job as good as I can. Yeah, I know I can just walk out, pretend like I don't care but I do care.
And now I have a dilemma between my old friends and my responsibility. Hell, you can say that I'm overrated this problem but I love Aikido. And no, it is not because of my boyfriend (who happen to be one of my Senpai. And I really hate it when people said that I go practice because of him. Urgh, talk to my hand!). Nope, I love Aikido even before I date him.
And I love my friends too....
By I should admit that I'm not good at keeping up with distance people....
Seriously, if I could do something to prove that I'm sorry about my stupid absent on every occasion then I'll do it. The problem is (Duh, why I keep adding up problems?) I'm not good at that kind of thing. I'm not good at initiative thingy, or apologize thingy. This is the only way that crossed my mind. I'm not even sure that any of them would read this but seriously, I'm so sorry...

I'M SO SORRY

There, I mean it. With all my heart. 
Please, please, please, for Aza, Ariani, Debby, Endah, Bulan, Kenna, Fanny and Sarri, I'm so sorry :( Yeah, this post is shit, I know, this post won't cut it but well, I really don't know what else to do. I think I need more time to divide my time between college, friends, practice and such. I really am sorry.

BBQ Night Blast!

May 2011, Pasha's House

It has been a really long time since the last time I met these guys. We graduated from the same Junior High and it's kind of awesome that we still keep in touch like this. Last Saturday we decided to hang out together again and made a BBQ party. To be honest, the BBQ was awful :p really. The meats were good but the grilled chickens were total failure...But it didn't matter for us. We met again, we gathered again and we laughed together again, those were what mattered. 

 This was when we were trying to light up the BBQ. Seriously, we used a lot of Gas to light up the fire and at the end we spent most of our time hovering or sitting around the flaming BBQ pan, watched the fire and chatted. Pasha's cooker tried to help and she was really tough. Really, she touch the burning coal with bare hands!!! Duh! 

Adhi

Dikie

Shab, Risyad and Adhi

The party ended around 9PM and Diki took the girls home including me :) I should say that was such a memorable night. I really wish that next time we had this kind of thing Anna and Kevin could join us. Come you Aussie dweller, come back to Indonesia!!!

Oh, plus Muti and Andhika. Please guys, things kind of thing won't happen twice!!

Q : What life's gonna be after Graduate? (Letter for you)

Well, with that one million dollars question then a lot of a hundred dollars questions will follow up. My Graduation is less than a month and I started to have these questions pop ups in my head. Most of them are about life after Graduation, friendship after graduation, ect. I'll write it down and remind me please that 'I'll have to answer these questions in 6 months'


1. Could I and my friends stay in touch?
2. Could we be just as close as today?
3. Could we still hang out together with our new random schedule?
4. Would any of us change too much until we barely recognize each other?
5. Are we going to forget each other because of our new friends and environment?
6. Does 'Best-friend' label strong enough to make us stick together since we had different classes or even University?


Those are my big six questions since I can't think more of it tonight. Weird. I got a lot this afternoon but when night comes up....Oh, well. Anyway these questions are just the result of my paranoia. I'm afraid that I'll lose everything and everyone since these peoples are the most real 'friends' I ever had. I don't mean to be lame or act like a drama queen and makes everything sounds too much and too melancholy but that's just how I feel.

Confession Part I : What 'FRIENDS' meant
Ever since I could understand the word FRIEND all I can describe about it is that a friend is someone we can use to play, have fun, share some laugh and pleased. When I had a friend the only thing that came through my mind was this one "Do whatever she want me to do. Please her or you'll lose her. You can bear this but she can't." And as the result; I never say no, never argue, tried to not get mad even if she got out of the line. Stupid me....

Confession Part II : What 'FRIENDS' means, nowadays
For me, they are precious things that I will never let go. Now, I'm not only want to make them happy but I also want to protect them. I want to help them in any way I could. This time it's not like I arrogantly thought that they are the one who needs me but I also need them more than they know. I was lost, crazy and even heartless. I didn't know what 'care' means, I didn't know what sympathy means and hell, I don't even want to help anyone who didn't ask. But ever since I knew these peoples I understand and learnt a lot of things. I just don't know how to thank enough....

Best Wishes for :

Ariani Dwi Puteri

Azalia Zatadhini

Debby Damayanti

Endah Pangestuti

Irawati Ayu Rembulan

Kenanga Wungu

Sarri Setyowardhani 

Theofani R.R

Tyana Rahestrie

Thanks for revived me from whatever got into me

Best Wishes too for :

Dyah Indraswari

Putri Juwita

Maria H. Lado

Muhammad Hadi

Naufal Dzulfikar

And them who I can't write one by one

Thanks for being there and being patient enough to hear all my crazy whines :)

These are really nothing....

I Adore 'em (Part 1)

Friends and friendship are hard things to explain. There are a lot of ups and downs along with it even in the very first of the acquaintance. But one thing I'm deathly sure about it is that I adore these peoples called friends. Not just because they are there as friends but because what they are and what they had inside...

Tyana Rahestrie
I adore her, my little bunny :P. Everybody loves her, she know how to get along, she know how to act in the middle of any situation and she's adoreable. She might be petit, somehow look fragile but somewhere within she know how to survive even in the hardest scenario. She didn't think like a girl used to think. She didn't put emotion above logic which made her become that strong girl I know. I Adore My Little Bunny :) 
 
 Irawati Ayu Rembulan
My Ex-Chairmate :) She's talkative, can't stay put on one place with one thing and yet when her mood goes down she would turn soooo damn creepy :p. I adore her with her confident. She's smart, such a loyal friend and most of it, I adore her mind that always goes out of the box :) She's fashionable and always successfully made me feel so messy when I stand beside her. I adore my Ex-Chairmate :)

  Sarri Setiyowardhani
Little Miss Cutie/Emo (Random) Yeah, cut yet she had such a hard heart and head :p She's childish but somehow there are some points when she seemed to know what she really want more than the other. I adore her courage on spilling out what's on her mind without mind the time, place or situation. All I know, she's brave and even though she used to lost her way and point of view but once she made it, she know she mean it. I adore my lil' miss cutie/emo :) 

 Debby Damayanti
My Model Wanna be :) She's funny! Really! She's beautiful, friendly and really, really funny. I don't know whether she meant it but every words that came out from her mouth always something...unexpected in funny ways. I adore her beauty and her funny thought :) Honestly, I really think she could be a model one day. I adore my model wanna be :)  
 Kenanga Wungu
My Queen! I don't know why but I adore her so much. For me, she's a perfect figure of wife, she's creative, kind, friendly and it seems like she sees the world with beauty perspective which made herself beautiful as well. I adore the way she always look perfect and well-organize. In fact, I adore everything about her. I look up at her but well, I can't be like her though. If I can read aura she would be all over pink and peach. That's just her and I adore my Queen :)

 Endah Pangestuti
My Miss Glommy! LOL, I know, that's not a really nice name but she somehow always look gloomy. But well, she's really nice! She's just as logical as she's emotional. I adore the way she always notice about her friends and the way she stay strong when bad things come. Oh, one wonderful thing; she really really well-organized. She seems like had a beat with time :) I adore my miss gloomy :) 
 Theofani R. R
My Miss Adorable! Wow, I can't forget how much boys that ran toward you :p and just how slow your connection is. LOL. No pun intended, okay? Anyway, Fanny is such a sweet friendly girl. She's nice to everyone and so I adore her sweetness and her charm :) A lot of guy annoy her but still she smile on them and what I adore the most is her positive way of thinking! I adore my miss adorable :) 

Ariani Dwi Puteri
  My Miss Intended Smile :p Always, her smile means something and I had no dictionary to enterprise it. Anyway, she's such a fun girl, good at basketball and tough one. I adore her courage and her power! Even though she sometimes act grumpy she's actually had a soft heart -according to me ;p- I adore my Miss Intended Smile :)

Azalia Zatadini
My Miss Doraemon! Yeay! She loves Doraemon sooo much until sometimes I'm wondering; which one she loves the most? Doreaemon or her boy-friend? Lol, just random question. So, Azza is such a sweet girl, fun and active. She seems so in to social activities. I adore her matureness and her wonderful mind. She seems to know what she want exactly and had a good sense for which one is good and which one is bad. I adore my Miss Doraemon!!

 I Adore You

So, there goes the first part and hopefully I'll add the second part :) But since I got exams for a week....

X.O.X.O