I had this conversation one day with my friend. We were actually talking about his girlfriend but then I turned...somewhere else which made me think about it afterward.
Me : She's change, you know after being with you. In positive way I mean.
My Friend.: Really? Well then everybody's change when they're dating.
Me : (Raised my eyebrows in disagreement) I won't, at least not that extreme.(In my mind: Why would I want to change into that sweet and soft girl just because I had a boyfriend?)
My Friend: Well I bet you will. You just won't realize it.
Until yesterday I do believe I won't change and that conversation was starting to fade away from my mind. The thing is that last night dream made me think about it again this morning.
"I was on the arcade with friends. I was having fun until I suddenly started searching for somewhere. Somebody asked who am I searching for but I couldn't verbalize the name. I could only say 'my boyfriend'. (Hell, I don't have any boyfriend. But, Okay, this is dream so just let it go how it wants.) Then I started to get panic and grumbled when I realized that I had to search for him on the whole mall. Great. But when I stepped out from the arcade I found him walked toward me. Jeez, I never knew that I could be so damn stupid but I ran straight to his embrace (damn this stupid dream) and after that I just couldn't get away from him. It was like I don't want to get anywhere far from him"
Okay, ever since I woke up I couldn't erase the feeling and the thought that the dream was actually stupidly fun and pleased. I've never been so much in love but it was just a dream for God Sake!
Okay, the point is; Am I really gonna change if I really had a boyfriend one day? I don't want to be that sticky and too depends on him. I imagine that when I had a boyfriend then both of us would be just as independent as we used to with addition each of us inside each of us' heads. I imagine I wouldn't want him all the time, I would just has him as someone who would help me through anything that come for me. But seriously, being so sticky and depending? That would be so not me! Mark my word;
Me : She's change, you know after being with you. In positive way I mean.
My Friend.: Really? Well then everybody's change when they're dating.
Me : (Raised my eyebrows in disagreement) I won't, at least not that extreme.(In my mind: Why would I want to change into that sweet and soft girl just because I had a boyfriend?)
My Friend: Well I bet you will. You just won't realize it.
Until yesterday I do believe I won't change and that conversation was starting to fade away from my mind. The thing is that last night dream made me think about it again this morning.
"I was on the arcade with friends. I was having fun until I suddenly started searching for somewhere. Somebody asked who am I searching for but I couldn't verbalize the name. I could only say 'my boyfriend'. (Hell, I don't have any boyfriend. But, Okay, this is dream so just let it go how it wants.) Then I started to get panic and grumbled when I realized that I had to search for him on the whole mall. Great. But when I stepped out from the arcade I found him walked toward me. Jeez, I never knew that I could be so damn stupid but I ran straight to his embrace (damn this stupid dream) and after that I just couldn't get away from him. It was like I don't want to get anywhere far from him"
Okay, ever since I woke up I couldn't erase the feeling and the thought that the dream was actually stupidly fun and pleased. I've never been so much in love but it was just a dream for God Sake!
Okay, the point is; Am I really gonna change if I really had a boyfriend one day? I don't want to be that sticky and too depends on him. I imagine that when I had a boyfriend then both of us would be just as independent as we used to with addition each of us inside each of us' heads. I imagine I wouldn't want him all the time, I would just has him as someone who would help me through anything that come for me. But seriously, being so sticky and depending? That would be so not me! Mark my word;
"If I do change into that soft depending sweet girl then it means I'm going crazy"
You can drag me to the nearest asylum if you think that necessary.
Anyway, I do think about these questions;
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